Is it rude to screen your phone calls? We all have reasons that we need to screen calls, and that is perfectly acceptable. If you are at work you may need to meet a big deadline, and you do not have time to deal with anything else. As a writer I often do not answer my phone if I am in the middle of writing an article, because if I do I will lose my train of thought. On a personal level you may have days when you are sick of talking to people, and need to just relax and have alone or family time at the end of the day.  There is nothing wrong with letting calls, texts and emails go unanswered for the night. Especially let calls, texts and emails wait when you are eating a meal with others, or socializing (even with family), unless the call is an emergency.

If you are avoiding a particular person’s calls, you eventually will have to talk to him and give him a reason of why you do not want to speak to him.  Instead of avoiding the person, tell yourself to be brave, and confront the situation head-on.  You are going to have to give an explanation eventually, so why not just get it over with?  If you can be proactive and call the person before he calls you, you will be prepared with what you have to say and can play offense instead of defense.  It may help you to write down what you have to say and even practice it out loud before you make the call.  Try to think of his reaction and be prepared with responses to any foreseen arguments.

Whatever your reason for not picking up your phone, the polite way to handle screening calls is to call the person back as soon as you can, and explain the delay in speaking to him. A good rule is to get back to someone within 24 hours of his contact.  Not responding back within 24 hours could be considered inconsiderate or rude. 

It is 9:00 on a Monday, and your best friend is calling.  You let it go to voicemail because you are running out to your weekly staff meeting. On the way you listen to her message, and text her back the answer “Yes.”  Is this acceptable or is it insulting to your friend?  If someone calls you, do you need to call him back, or can you text or email him back? What about screening phone calls?  Is that fundamentally wrong? 

It depends on your relationship with the person, and his age.  Having a 12 year old son I understand that texting is the main way that he and his peers communicate with one another.  They are not likely to pick up the phone to communicate with one another, and they rarely use email for peer communication.  As a person over 35, I know some friends like to text, others email, and some I need to call. I personally communicate with people the way I best think I will get the fastest response.  Sometimes I will receive a text that requires an answer that will take me too much time to text back, so I pick up the phone and call the person.  I don’t think in any of these cases there is a right or wrong when it comes to etiquette.

If you are in a work situation, other rules apply.  If it is in your company culture to text, or you have that kind of communication with certain co-workers, then texting is acceptable.  I would never text my boss without him or her texting me first.  A lot of issues are sensitive in the workplace, and emails can be dangerous or taken the wrong way.  Walking down to someone’s office or a phone call are most often ideal when communicating in the workplace.  Always consider the company culture and the way your boss communicates as the safest and most acceptable ways to communicate in your office. 

When it comes to screening phone calls, we all have reasons that we sometimes do this, and that is perfectly acceptable. If you do have to screen a phone call, try to call the person back as soon as you can, and explain the delay in speaking to him.  On a personal level you may have days when you are sick of talking to people, and need to just relax and have alone or family time.  There is nothing wrong with letting calls, texts and emails go unanswered for the night. Especially let calls, texts and emails wait when you are eating a meal with others, or socializing – even with family, unless it is an emergency.   A good rule is to get back to someone within 24 hours of his contact.  Not responding back within 24 hours could be considered inconsiderate or rude.  

A friend of mine was at her grandson’s ball game a few months ago.  She was speaking to the parents of the other children around her.  Her grandson was up to bat and did not do well.  One of the parents did not realize it was her grandson, and she started to say something negative about his performance.  My friend cut her off and said, “That is my grandson, so watch what you say.”  Knowing my friend she probably sort of laughed when she said it because she is a very nice person, and not confrontational. She called me and asked me if I thought that was too harsh of a response.  She felt like she was trying to save the situation before it got embarrassing.

            What should you do if you hear someone speak poorly of someone related to you, or that you are friends with?  I think using humor is always a good tool.  Humor makes an uncomfortable situation a lot more bearable for all parties involved.  If your son is up to bat, and someone makes the comment, “Who is that kid?  He has no idea how to play baseball!”  You can reply, “That is my son.  Are you saying Ron Washington and Nolan Ryan should fire him from The Texas Rangers?”  This will hopefully put the comment in perspective, and ease the embarrassment of the situation. 

            If you are the person who speaks before you think, and you criticize someone else’s child and they confront you, you have two choices.  One is to come clean and simply apologize, and say you were out of line. This seems like the right thing to do, but it is going to make the situation pretty awkward. The second choice is to try to make the situation lighter, and say something like, “Like I know what I am talking about. It is not like I could have done any better.”  Often it is hard to think of something to save the situation on the spot, so do the best you can to make your blunder forgivable. 

            I love to see people’s reaction when one of my sons opens a door for them. I am glad that they have gotten into that habit, but sad that the recipient is so shocked by their action.  I think opening a door for someone is not only for gentlemen, but a common courtesy for women and children to do for one another as well. I know people are often in a rush, but if another person is behind you, it is only right to hold the door for them, or stand back and let them walk through first as you hold open the door. 

            If you have a son that forgets to open doors for people and he is of dating age, tell him how most women like the gentleman act of opening a door for them.  This not only applies to house and business doors, but car doors too.  Everyone seems to have convenient car remotes that unlock car doors, but having someone open your door when a valet is not around is very nice.  I had a friend tell me that her husband always opens her car door.  One day a man on a bike was riding by, and he stopped to tell them how wonderful and rare that has become.  He said he is trying to teach his sons who are of dating age to do this, but it sounded like he was not very successful.

            Revolving doors have their own etiquette. You would think that a gentleman would offer to let a lady go through the door first. Etiquette says that a man is supposed to go through the door first, and then help the lady through when he gets there. He is also pushing the door through for her. My husband said he heard a man explain this to a lady onetime after going through a revolving door first, which I can completely understand.

Supposedly not all women like having their doors held open for them.  There are feminists out there who think they need to open their own doors.  I say open it for them anyway.  If a woman tells you she can open her own door, tell her you know that she can.  You just felt like being nice and wanted to do it for her. Surely she cannot get mad at that. 

            I love to see people’s reaction when one of my sons opens a door for them. I am glad that they have gotten into that habit, but sad that the recipient is so shocked by their action.  I think opening a door for someone is not only for gentlemen, but a common courtesy for women and children to do for one another as well. I know people are often in a rush, but if another person is behind you, it is only right to hold the door for them, or stand back and let them walk through first as you hold open the door. 

            If you have a son that forgets to open doors for people and he is of dating age, tell him how most women like the gentleman act of opening a door for them.  This not only applies to house and business doors, but car doors too.  Everyone seems to have convenient car remotes that unlock car doors, but having someone open your door when a valet is not around is very nice.  I had a friend tell me that her husband always opens her car door.  One day a man on a bike was riding by, and he stopped to tell them how wonderful and rare that has become.  He said he is trying to teach his sons who are of dating age to do this, but it sounded like he was not very successful.

            Revolving doors have their own etiquette. You would think that a gentleman would offer to let a lady go through the door first. Etiquette says that a man is supposed to go through the door first, and then help the lady through when he gets there. He is also pushing the door through for her. My husband said he heard a man explain this to a lady onetime after going through a revolving door first, which I can completely understand.

Supposedly not all women like having their doors held open for them.  There are feminists out there who think they need to open their own doors.  I say open it for them anyway.  If a woman tells you she can open her own door, tell her you know that she can.  You just felt like being nice and wanted to do it for her. Surely she cannot get mad at that.