Mrs. McVeigh's Manners
a division of Elise McVeigh's Life Camps
Elise McVeigh Life Camps

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Social Media Invitation RSVPs

 Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

Is it proper to respond to an RSVP via e-mail or social network, such as Twitter or face book? Or should such esponses be made by a more personal method, such as a phone call, or returning an enclosed card? Or does it depend on the manner in which the original invitation was offered?

Bob Bartlebaugh

 

Dear Bob,

If you are emailed an invitation, or invited to something through a Social Network, such as face book or Twitter, then it is appropriate to respond through the method that the invitation was sent.  Personally, I have responded to an Evite or similar type of invitation before, and my response has not gone through.  The hostess then called me to ask me if I would please respond.  Since this has happened to me several times, I attempt to respond through the “Evite,” and then I follow up with an email to the host and confirm my answer.  

Exchanging a Gift

 Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

I have been dating someone for just a few months. He recently bought me some jewelry, and told me if I did not like it, I could return it for something else.  Do you think it actually is okay to exchange it?  I don’t want to be rude or hurt his feelings.

Anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous,

If the gentleman that you are dating said you may exchange a gift that he gave you, then etiquette says it is fine to exchange it.  I would then show him what you exchanged it for, and ask him if he likes it.  If he does not seem to like it, then you should suggest that you go back to the store together and pick something out.  Also, keep in the same price range for the exchange. 

 

If he is a sensitive person and you think he would be offended if you really did exchange it, then I would learn to love what he gave you, and forget about exchanging it.

Email Etiquette Part II

 As convenient as email has become, I often wonder if we hide behind it when we need to confront people, or address an issue that we would rather not address.  It reminds me of a person breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend with a text.  It is a lot easier, but not only is it not a very polite way to handle the situation, but it is a cowardly way to handle it as well.  

When dealing with sensitive matters, or sending an email to a sensitive person, you need to look at every angle to make sure there is no way it can be misconstrued. The tone that you intend is not always the one it is taken.  Before you hit the send button read and reread your email to make sure the tone and information that is intended will be the way it will be interpreted when it is received. 

Sometimes an email is not the best way to handle a situation at all.  A friend of mine who worked for a large bank was told in training that if you compose an email that you would not want to see on the cover of the Wall Street Journal, then do not send it.  She said living by that rule has stopped her numerous times from sending various emails, and she chose to pick up the phone instead.

The other thing to consider that emails can be saved and/or passed on.  If you think your mean spirited exchange is going to stay between you and someone else, then forget about it.  The first thing I want to do when I receive an email that has an attitude is show it to someone else.  It is like we can’t wait to share with other people how we are stuck dealing with someone who is being obnoxious or mean. 

As wonderful as technological advances are, don’t forget a great invention from years ago – the telephone.  A telephone opposed to an email is what often saves us a lot of time (and heartache) in the long run.

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