The gifts are put away, the tree pine needles are falling off the tree, and you continue to eat your way through New Year’s Eve. Reality is going to set in any day now, and the holiday season will come to a close. This is the time to start thinking about getting out the stationery to write thank you notes.

            Take this opportunity to teach your child(ren) how to write a proper thank you note. It is an easy temptation to purchase the fill-in-the-blank thank you note cards for the gifts received at a birthday party, so after the holiday season is the time to write a “real” thank you note with your children.

I always start by making a list of the gifts from every relative. I then write out a note as a guide for my youngest son on notebook paper, and then let him copy it onto his personalized stationery. For my older sons, I check their notes over, and usually ask them to add a few sentences. I ask them to write their notes in pencil, in case we have to correct misspelled words.

            There should be at least have two paragraphs in each note. It should include thanking the person for his specific gift, and how it is being used. The second paragraph can thank the gift giver for a visit during the holidays, or how sorry the family was if he did not get to visit.

            Thank you notes are not a fun task for most children, but the end of the holiday season is a great time to teach them the important lesson of why note writing is necessary.  If they groan and complain remind them how excited they are when they get something in the mail. Tell them to bring joy to others by mailing them a hand written thank you note.

            Now that the New Year is here, you have probably made all of your New Year’s Resolutions. One that people tell me is they are making a commitment to teach their children better manners. If you have not worked enough on helping your children with their manners, then consider this as one of your resolutions. Do not let the years will go by and never get to it. Here are three easy things to work on in the upcoming year.

            Discuss and role-play with your children meeting and greeting adults and other children. Find opportunities for your children to formally greet adults. Practice with them beforehand and remind them to use a firm handshake, have good eye contact, and a clear and loud enough voice. Also remind them to acknowledge other children they come in contact with, which can be as simple as a wave or a verbal “hi.”

            Commit to having family dinners at least one time a week. It is not fun or relaxing to correct your children’s table manners, but if you work on it at least once a week you will get results. It is ideal to work on it everyday, but be realistic and take baby steps if you have not worked on it enough throughout the years.

Encourage your children to be kind and considerate to everyone – especially their siblings. Good manners can mean not insulting, hitting or punching, or tattling on one another. Encourage your children to work as a team and help one another out. Remind them that they need to have one another’s back, because no one else will look out for them like their family members. Set a good example and let them see you be extra nice to your spouse. Committing to work on good manners with your children is a resolution that will help them (and you) for a lifetime.

            The holiday season brings a lot of fun parties and gatherings. When you are invited to someone’s house, an old rule of etiquette is never to arrive empty handed. Here are some ideas for ideal host/hostess gifts.

            If your hosts like wine it is always a welcome gift. If they love wine, you need to do your homework first. People who are “into wine” are very particular of what they drink, and if you are not sure what grape and region they prefer, you may want to stay clear of wine all together. If you do bring a bottle, make it clear if it is for now, or for them to enjoy later. You can verbalize this when you hand it them. If it is for later, put the bottle in a gift bag with a tag.

            Flowers are always nice, but make sure they are already in a vase. It can be a big distraction and chore to accept flowers and then find a vase and fill it with water during a party.

            Breakfast bread for the next morning is always an appreciated gesture. If you do not want to make it, go to a specialty grocery store bakery to find something such as banana bread. Tell your hosts that they may be tired the morning after the party, so now they do not have to think about breakfast.

            Whatever you decide to bring your hosts they will be appreciative of your thoughtfulness, big or small. They will also be thrilled to receive a phone call or text the next day thanking them for a wonderful event, followed by a prompt hand- written thank you note.

 Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

I really like my next-door neighbors, but their outside dog has been keeping us up at night. I have four children and they have all gotten out of bed on various nights to complain about the constant barking. I have tried to give subtle hints to the neighbors but it is not working. I am scared that if I say something more direct then it will hurt our relationship.

Tired Neighbor

Dear Tired Neighbor,

I would go over in person to your neighbor’s house, bearing gifts such as baked goods, and have a face-to-face conversation with them. If you nicely explain that you understand that they have every right to have their dog outside, but it is causing your whole family to lose sleep, surely they will help fix the situation. If you use positive words, smile, and stay nice, you and your neighbors should be able to find a reasonable solution without hurting your relationship.

Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

I was asked by a friend of mine to serve on a volunteer committee that she is chairing. My volunteer job will begin in January. In the meantime the friend has moved out of town and there is a new chair that I do not know very well. I took the position because I was trying to help my friend out. Now I would like to resign from my position. Do you think that this is bad?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I understand if you are not looking forward to your volunteer position. I think a good solution would be to find a replacement, and then ask the new chair if that is okay with her. If you are unable to find a replacement, then staying on the committee and carrying out your commitment is the right think to do.